Tapering like “The Dude”

Last night the garage door opener broke when we got home from our trip to Albuquerque. I asked my husband if he could fix it, secretly wishing that he’d turn into MacGyver so I wouldn’t need to call a repairman in the morning.

But neither he nor the door budged.

He simply disconnected it so we could open and shut it manually.

My husband proceeded to unload the car, then himself in front of the TV where he watched football until it was time to eat.

I, meanwhile, unpacked my bag and the children’s bags, started two loads of laundry, picked up around the kitchen, and made dinner for everyone.

It then occurred to me: MacGyver my husband ain’t, but he sure knew how to channel “The Dude” from “The Big Lebowski” without the beer and bongs.

And MacGyver He Ain’t (aka, my husband) certainly had “tapering” down. Tapering is the recovery period before you run a marathon where you cut down your mileage a lot, eat more, and wind down before the race so you can have the stamina and push to go the whole distance. 

In short: you get to be lazy before you work very hard.

“The Dude” from “The Big Lebowski”  appears to be in a perpetual state of “tapering” minus any marathons in sight. 

Motherhood, however, weakens one’s “tapering muscles.”

I find there are always more miles to run, children to feed and dress, soccer games to shuttle someone to, writing work to squeeze in between school drop-offs, dust bunnies in the corners and mail piles the size of mountains, laundry to be washed, groceries to be bought, dinners to be cooked, etc,, etc.

You get the picture.

My husband can rattle off NFL stats and stock market data from his job. 

I know the characters from “The Puppy Place” series my second-grader reads from volunteering in her classroom.

MacGyver He Ain’t makes no pretenses about to-do lists like me. In fact, his version of being handy is pulling out the checkbook.

This doesn’t mean he does not rise to the occasion when needed or isn’t a decent guy. He is. In fact, when Tarzan, our 4-year-old, got carsick on the ride home from Albuquerque he cleaned out the barf-mobile while I hosed down the poor kid.

But let’s face it: the dust bunnies and paper piles will always be there. I can’t help but think that as I prepare for Denver Rock N Roll Marathon this weekend, perhaps I should take my tapering more “seriously” and channel my inner “Dude” from “Lebowski” like my husband?

Just don’t ask me to watch football or learn any NFL stats.

Or fix the garage door opener either. …

Aging is inevitable, but growing old is a choice. Lace up your shoes, and let’s go.

Mileage today: 3; Denver to Boston miles logged 702; Miles left to go: 1,068

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